Like all self-help books, guides to Self Defence are nonsense that don’t work. However UNLIKE all other self-help books, guides to Self Defence AREN’T aimed at pussies.

This means that while most self-help wisdom involves thinking of poems about cats every time your boss makes you work late, guides to Martial Arts instead give berserk lunatics a platform to describe how fights happen in their fantasies.


Here are some of my favourites, though be warned that just looking at these techniques will make you so poor at fighting that you will legally be classed as a naked mole rat.


It is very important that you note: THESE PICTURES HAVE NOT BEEN DOCTORED IN ANY WAY.